Smash Putt is the brainchild of two ex-Burners who “wanted to do something to help keep Seattle weird”. Their solution: take over an old warehouse in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood for a month and turn it into a 21-years-and-older indoor miniature golf course with some twists. The point really isn’t to keep score, but instead to enjoy all the goofball golf ball mayhem contraptions that would make Rube Goldberg proud.
After warnings about health and safety at the entrance, we were ushered into the warehouse and got our clubs from behind one of the two bars onsite. We then randomly walked around to different holes, depending on what we felt like doing and what was open at the time. We got the classic little score sheet and mini pencil, but after a while the score didn’t really matter anyhow when everyone started trying to take multiple weird angled shots just to see what happened, instead of aiming for the hole!
Shooting a golf ball at high velocity down the firing range. By using an air compressor-powered golf ball bazooka, we aimed for one of the three “holes in one”: either embed your ball in the far wall, clang off one of the hanging saw blades, or knock over 2X4s without ricocheting off the piano below. The plywood and green VW Bug front hood is for some protection from the ricocheting balls. (photo by Josh)
This ferris wheel revolved while we tried to get the ball into one of the hooked “seats” by either rolling the ball up a ramp or else landing on a small hole that then levitated the ball into the air through the wonders of an air blast. The ball would then circle around the wheel and be dumped onto a metal track (on the left) which wound around and down into the final hole. (photo by Josh)
This one was a challenge: hit the ball across the upper level while traversing two astro turf-covered record players that were spinning at 33 1/3 that also had either a crushed beer can or a microphone on the turntable to knock your ball into the “moat” below.
The “hole” here is the castle in the background. We putted our golf ball a certain distance up onto the catapult and then – in a team effort – someone else tapped a pedal with their foot and launched the catapult. If you made it over the ramparts, you were in the hole!
One team member had to sit on the moped to rock it back onto the rotating black platform and then start the electric motor that drove the moped wheel which then turned the platform. The “opponent” would then try to putt their ball across the rotating platform in the direction of the hole.
Here foosball men were constantly moving back and forth across the course, powered by electric motors. You had to time your shots to go between as many as possible since the higher scoring holes were the furthest away, and the field was inclined so if you didn’t make it into a hole your ball rolled back to visit you again.
After arcing the ball along a curved alley, the ball then bounced randomly down an inclined pachinko peg board. Each of the three holes led to a separate power tool that ate away at the ball with its own unique style…
Your random pachinko run resulted in being funneled through either the grinder, the router, or the circular saw. The balls would fling out at high speed, all nicely chewed up around the edges.
And then to ensure the ball was truly “Smash Putted”, on the final hole 18 the ball was funneled down into a drill press, where the ball was held in place as a drill came down and cored the ball to destruction before flinging the ball out so we had a mangled souvenir to take home.